Sheppard: Marshall’s Shadow – Jaguar Shapeshifter Romance (Marshall's Shadow Book 1) Read online

  “I asked him if he knew anyone in office. Any office that I could contact. He did, and is calling her now. He told me, with tears in his eyes, that I made him feel useful. Like he was needed. Then he said that he must have stayed so long at the graveside that he’d turned into a nobody.” That hurt Shep badly. Not the words, but that his grandda felt that way. “You boys, as he calls you, need to rally around him and make him feel like a functioning adult, or he’s going to shrivel up and die on you. Then it will be too late.”

  “What happened to them? Your parents?” She picked up the pen she’d been using. Shep didn’t think she was going to answer. “You don’t have to tell me if it hurts you too badly.”

  “They’re dead.” He nodded, and figured that was going to be the end of it. “The man that killed them, he’s dead as well. I killed him when I was sixteen. He took their lives because he thought that our home would give him something that he needed. Money.”

  Robbery came to mind, but she said no more as she bent over her notebook. Shep sat there for several moments, not really thinking of anything but watching her hand move over the page, when Grandda joined them. He looked as if he’d been crying.

  “I called a friend of mine to tell her about your momma passing on. She said that she’d not heard about it.” Shep told him how they’d decided not to put anything in the paper because of their father. “Yeah, I told her that. She knows your dad too. Anyway, she’s coming for a visit tomorrow. I’ve not seen her in a while, but it’ll be nice to have a long talk with her, I’m thinking. Like I said, she knew your momma, and in turn knew your grandma too.”

  “Grandda, how about we go out to dinner tonight? I mean all of us.” Harris said that she had plans, which he’d figured that she would. “I’m going to call my brothers and see about getting all gussied up and going to have a nice steak dinner together. We’ve not done that in a long time.”

  “You’d want to have dinner with me?” Shep knew right then that they were going to do just what Harris had told him, to involve Grandda in more projects. “I’d sure like that, Shep. I would. And a steak sounds about right.”

  Reaching out to his brothers, he told them what Harris had said, then what Grandda had said. They all agreed that they’d break whatever plans they already had to make this dinner. They were also willing to dress up. As soon as he had the arrangements made, he thanked Harris.

  “You helped me a great deal with this. I owe you.” She snorted at him and he laughed. “You’re not terribly friendly, are you? Poor me, your mate, pining after his mate like a sad kitten.”

  “I’ve never seen your cat.” He asked her if she wanted to now. “I’m not sure. I mean, can you get into trouble just running around like a cat when there are others around? Humans. Like me?”

  “No. You’re my mate, first of all, and that’s an exception to any of the laws we have. Secondly, we have a great deal of land between the six of us, and we run on all the places as freely as we want.” He watched her put the pen back in the notebook, then put it in the big bag that she carried around with her all the time. “I will warn you that I’m a bigger cat than those at the zoo. All of us are. I’m larger because I’m the oldest. Grandda is larger too, but his is graying like he is.”

  She nodded and he took her hand into his. Shep would take any opportunity he could to touch her. Harris was very skittish about being touched, he noticed. Making a mental note to look up the tragedy that had befallen her, he took her outdoors.

  He didn’t waste any time in shifting. Shep knew that to strip down would make her uncomfortable, so he just did what came naturally to him. Letting his beast take him, he sat down when she did and crawled on his belly to get closer to her.

  “You’re very overwhelming, aren’t you? I mean in your size. I know that you said that you’d be bigger, but I wasn’t sure how much larger that would be.” He was close enough to touch her now, so he put his paw on her leg. It never occurred to him how overwhelming he was until he saw her small leg under his much larger paw. “I’m sorry that I was short with you about my parents. I feel as if I can talk to you this way. Lord knows I’ve seen enough shrinks about it in my life. If you were to look them up, you’d only see a small part of what happened that night.”

  Tell me, love. She looked at him, her face full of anger and fear. He’d never seen the latter on her face, and it surprised him a bit. Tell me what happened.

  ~*~

  Harris thought of the night that her mother had come to tell her goodnight. The last night that she’d seen either of her parents alive. They’d read part of Moby Dick. Her mom had had the most beautiful voice to listen to, Harris had always thought. Looking away from Shep, she started from there, the reading of the book.

  “We’d read Moby Dick twice before. Before I could read, then after I was old enough to read some of it by myself. It was fun for us, just my mom and me. Then after I was tucked into my bed, my dad would come in, untuck me so that I could get up when I wanted, and then he’d read something funny. Usually the Stinky Cheese Man.” He told her that he’d read both of the books. Nodding, she moved on from there. “They both had kissed me on the forehead. I had, as I usually did, rubbed it into my skin so that it would be a part of me. When you’re only six, you can think all kinds of strange things, I guess.”

  You were very smart then. She nodded, and told him that both her parents had been geniuses. What did they do for a living? I’m assuming that they both worked?

  “Yes. Even though, like you, they didn’t have to, they worked every day. My mom was a brain specialist. She did surgeries too, but her primary care was seeing what made the brain work the way it did. My dad was an engineer. He designed concept machinery for things like wheelchair lifts and such. Mostly. Cars and other designs too. We had a great deal of money even before they were born.” She thought about telling him that she had a home and money too, but decided this was about the story. “The house was silent when I woke up. I think that is what woke me, the lack of sound. I usually had a fan on in my room year round, and it had turned off. Getting up, I thought about going to see where the trouble was, but went to my bathroom first.”

  She had on her favorite jammies. They were yellow with little pink hearts all over them. A shirt and a pair of shorts. No matter the weather, she had always worn shorts sets like that to bed. Harris had no idea why that had popped into her head, but she told Shep about it.

  “I went into the bathroom and closed the door, but didn’t lock it. It was eerily dark and quiet in there, and I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. I think that is the only thing that saved me.” Harris leaned back on the step and thought about what had happened. “The man just opened the door and said my name softly. I knew it wasn’t my father—this man was heavier. He also had a beard. I saw it when he turned his head to look at my bed. Even though I had only gotten up to go see my parents, I’d had the strangest idea that I needed to make my bed. I did before going into the darkened room to pee. I think that he thought me gone from the house. Unbeknownst to him, he had signed his own death warrant.”

  You said that they robbed you. Was it only the one man, or were there more? She told Shep that there had been two of them. You killed the other man, didn’t you?

  “Yes, but it was too late for me to save my parents.” He said that she was just a child. “I know that. I knew that when I’d gotten the gun from my father’s safe. I had had lessons on firing it, how to load it. I knew even then that someday I’d become very familiar with a gun, and that night was my first lesson in killing someone.”

  The gun had been so large in her small hand. It didn’t seem to matter, she supposed, because so long as she’d been able to pull the trigger, then it was a perfect fit for her. Still not looking at Shep, she continued with her tale.

  “The bedroom that they had was empty. There was blood on the sheets, but I tried not to think about how much was there. In hindsight I know that it was very little, but then, it seemed like someone had bled
to death.” Her mom’s things were broken all over the room, along with her dad’s. “They had searched the room for things. Some of her rings were gone. Her mother’s watch too. Dad’s things were in disarray, but I didn’t know what they kept in there, so I had no idea if things were missing or not.

  “Sneaking down the stairs, I was shocked to see that the living room looked as if someone had taken a knife to the cushions on the couch and chairs. The pictures on the mantel had been knocked off, the ones that my mom would change out every season as if that were part of her making the house ready for this event or that.” Harris still had the pictures that had been knocked to the floor. “Mom had only put them up the week before. We had gone skiing, and they were from that trip. Lamps had been overturned. The paintings on the walls had been moved and torn to shreds. They were looking for a safe, I was told later. They never found what they were looking for.”

  How long were they in your house? She told him less than four hours. You killed one of the men. Is that when it ended?

  “No. My parents were in the dining room. They had been beaten up and tied to the chairs. My dad saw me first. He didn’t say anything, but he did look to his left, just a small movement that gave me a clue that the man or men were standing there. I didn’t move for fear of doing something to alert them that I was there. My mom, she asked for a glass of water, please. I haven’t any idea why, but I knew she was telling me that the other man was in the kitchen. I went there first.” Harris knew that Shep would not want to be around her after this. Not that she wanted him around now. The man hadn’t a clue what sort of person she was. “He was in the fridge when I found him, his body bent down so that he could see what was in it. It was a larger refrigerator than most had. A double wide that held all sorts of treasures, I guess. I put the gun at his ass and fired. Just like that.”

  You wounded him. She told Shep how the bullet had traveled up his ass and into his spine, then brain. She’d killed him. Christ, what a wonderful shot. How did you know to do that?

  “I didn’t. I only wanted to wound him, as you said, but it happened so quickly that I know that I was only reacting instead of thinking. Moving to the pantry, I slipped in there when the other man came into the room.” She remembered the face of the man and would forever, she thought. “He found me easily enough and knocked me out. When I woke up, I was in a chair with my parents. They were both dead. He’d killed them after finding me with my father’s own gun.”

  I’m so sorry, Harrison. To be so young and to lose your parents that way. I just don’t know how you did it. She nodded but didn’t speak yet. There was more to tell yet. Honey?

  “I had called the police by tripping the alarm in the house after I shot his partner. They were en route. At least I hoped they were when he made me take the gun and put it to my own head. He, I guess, supposed that everyone would think that I’d killed my parents then myself when I realized what I’d done. I don’t know what he was going to do about the man in the kitchen. Nor how that would explain why the house was trashed.” He seemed to understand there was more to this. “In the ten minutes between me waking up and the police showing up, he asked me where the money was. Beat me until I couldn’t move without hurting. My face was so swollen from his fists that it took several surgeries to put it back together. He’d broken my arm and hand, and screamed at me for killing his brother.”

  You didn’t tell him. She told him that the safe had been in her bedroom. And that she’d not told him anything. He would have killed you anyway.

  “Yes, he told me that, several times in those few minutes.” Harris remembered his slurred words as his spit hit her in the face. The way he didn’t pronounce words correctly. Like gun and blood—he’d called them gon and blad. She told Shep that. “It was something that the police ignored when I told them. Said that I’d misheard him, didn’t take into account, they told me, that it was two in the morning and both my parents were dead. The DNA that he’d spit on my face was from his brother, the courts told me. A near enough match that they eventually blamed everything on Thomas and not Charles, who had killed my parents.”

  So he was set free. She nodded. How did he get out of the house? I’m sure however he did, it’s really going to piss me off.

  “It did me too, and I was only a kid. He heard the first sound of them coming and ran out the back door. I don’t think it was ever explained by anyone how Thomas had been killed like he was. How I had shot him the way he’d been shot. Every time I tried to tell them it was me, they only patted me on the head and told me that I’d done well, for a kid.” She could see that he was processing her story. It didn’t matter to her if he believed her or not; she’d been the only one there that could tell it the way it really happened. “After he left us, the police came into the room. My mom had been shot once in the head. My dad had suffered more. His knees had been shot, then his wrists. The one to his head was just window dressing, I heard one of the officers say. He would have bled to death from the wrist wounds.”

  You survived. Harris told him that she had, barely. And the legal system let you down by not convicting the right killer. That’s why you went after him, to make it right.

  “Yes. My father taught me several things when he was alive. No one is perfect, and those that think they are more than likely are the most flawed of all. Everyone wants to seek revenge, but few do it. He told me that you might say that you don’t want revenge. That it’s not in your nature. But you need it. Not everyone gets it, but we all need to feel like we would have.” Shep nodded. “He also taught me that nothing in life is free. Nothing. Not the breath that you take nor the beat of your heart. There is a price for it all. For those things, it’s the ending of your life. And if you want something badly enough, you have to figure out a way to get it or it will haunt you for the rest of your life. ‘I should have’ and ‘I wish I had’ will not make you a happy person in the long run.”

  I think I might have liked your dad. Your mom, she was someone that I bet you look like, don’t you? Harris told him that she could be her twin right now. I’m so sorry for everything that you lost. In my opinion, you lost a great deal more than just your parents that day. You lost your childhood, the feeling of being safe, as well as a place that you could be safe in. I’m so sorry, Harrison.

  “I’ve never told anyone that story before.” Shep asked if she felt better. “No. I feel everything all over again. But I’m also glad that I was able to tell you what sort of person I am. A killer.”

  No, never that.

  His grandda come out onto the deck and smiled at them both. He told them that the boys were on their way, and did he want to get dressed. Shep said that he did, and Mr. Marshall let him in the house. Then he sat down beside her.

  “I have been thinking on you not calling me anything but Mr.” She told him that she was sorry about that. “No worries, but I’m going to start calling you Ms. Parker. That way, I don’t have to feel so bad about my manners when I call you Harrison.”

  “You sly old devil you.” He laughed, and asked her if she liked his plan. “Not as much as I do you, Grandda.”

  “You’ve made this old man feel like king of the world, my child. Thank you for that.” Harris kissed him on his weathered cheek, and then wiped at the tear there. “I miss the women in my life more and more every day, child. Having you here, calling me Grandda, it gives me comfort like you cannot believe. They were my princesses, and I their Prince Charming. My wife told me that I would forever be the one atop her white steed. I love you, Harrison. I surely do.”

  “I think that I love you too. I don’t really know what love is, to be honest with you. My parents had it, a great deal of love for each other. But for me to love again? I’m not sure.” He told her that she would someday. “When your guest gets here, Grandda, don’t forget, she already knows who I am. All right?”

  “Yes, I’ve been briefed, you might say. This is gonna make my grandsons think I’m something special, don’t you think?” She told him that she
was sure that they already did. “Maybe, but they sure have a slow way of showing it.”

  “I’m sure that will change too. They’re so busy with their lives, you know. Perhaps it was time that you showed them that you’re not an old man without a brain, but a powerhouse of knowledge that they’ll never get in time to use.”

  He was still laughing when he went into the house.

  Harris sat there for several moments before she too went inside. There were things about to happen, and she was glad that she was going to have a front row seat to it all. Grandda had a charming way about him that would help her with things. Like this stupid mate thing with Shep. She would get him killed, and Harris wasn’t sure that she could live through another family of hers being murdered by jackasses. And to her, most people were just that. Jackasses.

  Chapter 5

  Lily wasn’t the least bit nervous about this. She’d done this twice before for her husband over the years. Today was different in that she would have to be able to entertain a group of people for an hour. She wasn’t sure that she could do that. Even though she was in the public eye all the time, she was actually a very shy and quiet person.

  The house had been gone over twice before she was to arrive. Getting out of the big limo, she saw the elderly man standing on the front stoop. Mr. Marshall had been her friend and confidant when she’d been a teenager. He’d also been her grandda when she’d needed him to be.

  Hugging him, she heard him sob and couldn’t help but join him. They both had lost so much when Jill Ann had died. So much more than anyone would ever know of. She was then taken into the house, only to stop and be hugged in a powerful hug once again.

  “Oh, Grandda, I’m so sorry for your loss. For you to lose two of the most beautiful people in the world just makes my heart hurt badly.” He told her that he’d been ready to join his wife, then found out about Jill Ann. “I don’t know if I could have survived any of it, living with them all this time. My goodness, they were both two peas in a pod, weren’t they? You’d never know that they weren’t related by blood.”